The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
