i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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