Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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