areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize