I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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