so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
