College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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