Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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