hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize