so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
