He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
