never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
