I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
