so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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