my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
