now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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