If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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