You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
