For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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