I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just want nice things and good sex
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
