She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
