I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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