OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
