belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
