What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
