His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
