Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
