so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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