I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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