Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
only you would photoshop your dick
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
