I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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