Can i not drive my cunt home
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
...so i touched it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm both gender and math confused
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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