I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
