Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
