You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
