just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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