If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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