Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize