her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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