My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
