yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize