Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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