i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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