Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
