so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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