i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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