I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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