her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
