Its about making memories worth repressing
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
