ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Two words: blizzard sex
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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