i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
