is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
