from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We got so high we made milksteak
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
