Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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