Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
