Don't make out with my wife yet
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
