Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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