Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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