I will die if light touches me.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
