Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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