I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
