I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My hand turned me down
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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